abby_normal_0 (abby_normal_0) wrote in not_so_crazy,

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OK, I get a lot of crap for this, and it's pretty messed up, so I'm putting it behind a cut .....

I hate my family. Or, what's left of it. I never got along with my mother, father or brother (I'm ashamed to admit biological atachments to him), but I guess all-in-all, Mom was OK. She died this march, leaving me with Dad and Chad. Dad has no job. He got one last Monday, but quit it Friday because he was going to have to work extra hours and it was cutting into his church-going time. He drags me to Harwood Southern Baptist every Sunday morning and thinks he's taking it easy on me because he doesn't make me go to Sunday nights or Wednesday night services. I am only 17, and I don't have a car (we're poor as hell) so I have to go. He's been known to be abusive.

My brother is the favorite. He's not allowed to have a job because Dad worries about his grades. I can only have one job until I'm 18 (another brilliant idea by Shrub, but more on him on a later post) and it gives me crap hours. I'm making an average of 70 bucks a week. You may ask, why not quit THAT job and get one that pays more? Because I live in Bumfuck, Indiana and there are half as many jobs as there are people.

When people say, "How can you HATE your family?" it really pisses me off because they don't know my situation.

When you look at it, family is just a bunch of people thrown in the same house for at least 18 years. If they get along, that's fine. If they don't, that's common. I happened to get stuck with a bunch of people I'd avoid eye-contact with if we were strangers passing on the streets.

I've given a lot of thought to killing these two, only partially in jest. I never would. I couldnt' get away with it. It all comes back to just axing myself, but I'd hate to do that just for financial reasons. I'm sick and tired of asking my friends for everything, putting them at an inconvenience because I'm poor. There's nothing more humiliating than spending someone else's money. Especially when they know you can't pay them back, so it's technically a charity.

It's all because of my dumbass father and lazyass brother. I'm done with these guys. I feel like a caged animal over here. I'm 18 on November 22nd, so I can move out, but I don't know what to do from there. My grades suck. I probably won't get much of a scholarship. If I don't get out of this town soon.... I don't know. The future is bleak, folks. I don't know what to do. I don't even know why I'm sharing this with you. I'm done.
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